The beginning is the end
by ClinicalSardonia
Summary: “Self-defense.” It was a question, but the doctor’s strained comment was too monotone, to express even that. He felt shattered, he didn’t even know her, and he felt shattered that her life was over…


This story will contain graphic material. If this isn't something you want to read, then obviously don't.

When letters are in Italics, it's an alien language (most likely a swear, if a single 'word')

Per usual, I own nothing, this is purely for my enjoyment and that of the readers.

For this story the first four numbers of a stardate is the year and after the period the following numbers are the day of the year, there are 365 days in a year.

My OC will switch to first person, but it should flow with the story so I won't announce each time this happen, while all others will be in third or on rare occasions first person in italics.

* * *

Stardate 2265.42

Blood. That's where my story starts…

It's thinner than it should be, and I look under slides all day, at the ruby red life force, so I know it should be thicker than this. It's flowing in rivets, it reminds me of the hot springs up in the mountains of Ozar, that unending gurgle pushing up from the ground. This suggests I hit a blood vessel, but I don't feel it, it's coming, but I don't feel it, not now, not yet anyway, or maybe…

Now it's about the running, that's what usually follows the blood, just not always by the wounded. My feet are sore, no time for shoes, my belly feels hard and the branches are catching on my blouse, yanking at me like little hands reaching out to hinder my escape. It didn't have to be this way.

Hiding, that always follows running, I'm good at it. Crouched behind the karanite rocks the beetles skitter across my bare torn up feet and the animals take no notice, I'm still, I'm silent, I am stone.

Falling, unexpected dissension, the cockpit is flooded with dark red lights as if I wasn't already aware of what was happening, of where I was headed. I can see it now, the crash, the slow burn, and head trauma, hemorrhage, and finally, thankfully release…

"She killed him." Admiral Pike looked grim as he made the assertion. In the situation room it was easier to believe, easier to remove himself, but here, with her limp on a bio-bed it took a tangible effort to get the words out. The doctor seemed to be having an equal amount of trouble with the girl's state, and wouldn't look anywhere but the data pad, streaming her vitals.

"Self-defense." It was a question, but the doctor's strained comment was too monotone, to express even that. He felt shattered, he didn't even know her, and he felt shattered that her life was over…

My eyes hurt, well everything hurt, but mostly my eyes. My lids are sealed shut, my tongue too big for my mouth, were it not for the device around my neck, oxygen would cease to circulate through my system, why can't they just let me go. Who are they?

"I want her secured in medical bay until further notice." Jim couldn't believe he'd said it, this woman, and yes she was a woman despite what Pike and the others believed, was really here, really dieing and a killer. So much talent, so very beautiful and now none of that mattered and it was his job she be brought to justice, but what justice? He couldn't help, but ask himself hadn't she been through enough…

Where am I? I laughed at the absurdity of asking myself, what I obviously don't know. Of course while my ability to laugh seemed to have been stifled and my ribs were on fire from the effort, I couldn't stop, I felt giddy, completely, insanely amused. They're about to swarm me, I can't see them, but above the roar in my head I hear the hurried footsteps, the groping hands, the faint heat of a scanner, and that small almost imperceptible intake of breath.

"Stay still!" He growled at me. Literally growled, it's McCoy, he's scared, this changes things, and it all seems unreal. Am I seriously in Enterprise's medical bay? Honestly, life has never been easy, but this is cruel. I know cruel, I've lived it so very long, but how could I deserve so much pain, what did I do? Oh _zbysti_, what did I do?

Stardate 2263.12

"She is the best…" McCoy looked at the screen with a look of mock disinterest, Admiral Pike's office looked impressive behind him, and while McCoy might if pressed agree with the Admiral he certainly didn't like it. He slanted a look at Kirk and was annoyed when his friend turned Captain looked to be taking the Admiral's side.

"Oh come on Jim, you just want fresh meat, her surgical skills while acceptable are inexperienced," and pointing at the screen says "at best." It wasn't like he hadn't researched this, the girl while prodigy material had only been practicing for 2 years and at 23 she was far too young to understand the complexities of the job or the impact of just one small mistake…

"Bones, I've already set up an interview, she's an excellent candidate, plus you can't be everywhere, just admit you need some help!" Jim was irritated, by his friends childish behavior, after all that was his area Bones, was usually the rational one. Jim was finding out being the rational one was particularly a boring job.

"Not to mention she's a babe, Dr. Renny Tulelo is coming aboard, and if we're lucky, when, and yes I mean when I offer her the job she'll take it." The conversation was obviously over in Jim's mind, and luckily for once Bones, agreed with him.

I couldn't really believe I was interviewing for this job, I mean I've always been wary of 'the notoriously nosy' one of the nicer nicknames given to starfleet on my home world. Out in the black no one wants some perceived corporation prying into their business, I was no different and this job would destroy any sense of privacy I had. Quarters that could be searched at anytime based on the whims of the Captain or senior crew, long work hours and an extensive background check, which for me wasn't much of an issue; I honestly had no traceable history. Had it not been for a happenstance friendship with Christopher, I wouldn't even have gotten a chance to work in starfleet, not with my past or lack thereof. The only reason I'd even considered this is Dr. McCoy, the bastard was a damn good doctor wrapped up in a surly mess, but he's sure have to a lot of knowledge to impart if I could convince him, I'm worthy of it. So here I go, on this cramped little shuttle up to the overwhelmingly massive Starship, to apply for a job, I don't really want, to talk to a doctor who wants nothing to do with me. I know this because being the 'professional' that he is, sent me a transmission recommending I decline Admiral Pike's offer of a job on the Enterprise. His reasoning, "You're young, inexperienced, and under qualified. You're too smart to not already know this, so just say no to the job and save me the hassle of running you off." It was said in the calmest voice I'd ever hear, which made the statement all the more bewitching, so despite the good doctors obvious desires, his message intrigued me, to the point I at least had to see what starfleet had to offer.

The shuttle docked and an ensign ushered me out of the small craft once the airlock doors whished open, revealing who I guessed was, Commander Spock, by the pointy ears and cool demeanor.

The Commander gave a slight incline of his head as a greeting, "You are Dr. Tulelo." To which of course I answered, "Yes." I settled into a fast stride beside the Commander when he indicated we move towards our destination, as he navigated the corridors I let my mind drift a little.

Some people felt uneasy in the presence of Vulcans, but I found solace in their logic, I also liked that I didn't have to engage in small talk, which was an admitted weakness of mine. Growing up as I did, conversation for conversation sake was needless to say not highly regarded. Vulcans had made some of the best acquaintances of my life, because while I was full-blooded human, I certainly was not Tarran, and humans and earthlings alike didn't always 'get me'. I almost smiled at this thought, after all with a few exceptions, I'd rarely spent time with others of my race, some might think I'd jump at the opportunity to do so, but as we passed people who looked like me, in all different sexes, shades and sizes, I felt…apprehensive.

This isn't where I was suppose to be, I was suppose to be at the docks working on that plasma relay, I was suppose to be building a house and beginning a foundation for the rest of our lives, I was suppose to be happy. Having dragged myself out of the gutter, I always assumed with privilege happiness would follow, I'm beginning to realize I was wrong. Of course none of this matter, of course I refuse to dwell, of course I would never allow myself to wallow, so I march on, I follow the Commander to another path, another life, and maybe if I'm lucky another second chance…


End file.
